Please Please HELP !!!! | Autism PDD

Thank you

John

keith and kam are both on risperdal.  it has helped with the meltdowns and self esteem issues.  i think you have to try it b4 you realize how in control these kids can be. good luck

k8

I think you may be right about no NT pre-k. Clearly, your son is experiencing stress and anxiety. If you go to a medical doctor, that doctor will want to give your so MEDICINE.  That's what they are trained in.  Get in touch with whatever local autism organizations you can so that you can find out if there is an autism center near you.  These places have psychologists who are experts in ASD and can give kids therapy and, probably more importantly, give parents training.  Also, if your son is going to be in a special ed setting but the staff in that setting really know nothing about autism, he may be in the wrong place there, too.  Maybe not.  It's possible to get a consultant to come in and give help to the teachers and staff so that they KNOW how to educate your son in such a way that they do not increase his stress.

Get more involved in the autism community in your area.  That is where you are going to find the resources you need.  I think this IS an emergency.  Nicky is beginning to show emotional distress because of his disability.  Certainly, there are medications that can help with this but trying behavioral techniques first is probably wise.  I don't think we on this board can give you specific advice, long distance, so seek out someone locally who can.

John,

Something to think about when considering medications is quality of life.  The question I've always asked myself is how is my kid functioning?  & is it affecting HIS quality of life. That usually answers most of my questions about meds. I don't necessarily medicate behavior in and of itself (JMHO).  Ritalin & Adderall seem to be the ADHD meds used for the very young. 

Others were correct about stress, it really affects children-maybe not only the preschool changes are affecting him, but maybe something else is going on in preschool-a new person has joined? A favorite child hasn't been coming? A favorite toy or activity isn't happening lately? New style of teaching? Maybe something as simple as they don't sing a favorite song anymore.  Our kids don't transition well.  They are creatures of habit and crave routine.  They don't do change.  They melt down often.

Something that you said about him really jumped out to me, and that is he just isn't functioning in the way he used to.  My son did that.  I think that really bears watching.  My child would develope then stall then regress.  That was his pattern and really still is.  Maybe when he's telling you he can't color anymore maybe he really is having trouble-the kind you can't see.  Coloring is fine motor control, which could becoming an issue for him now that he's getting older and doing older work in preschool. Sensory/motor issues are a big deal for our kids.  Ds started OT 6 mo. ago- and that has been a HUGE success. 

There is nothing wrong with having a play date with one of the neighbors.  But even the usual child will have friends that fall in/out of favor, maybe it's as simple as that.  Maybe more.  The only way to find out is to have them over one at a time & see how they play.  Maybe he needs help playing now.  Maybe he doesn't know what to do b/c the other children are changing.  We have one very sweet little boy who plays nicely with ds now, he is 3 years younger and it works well.  Hang in there.

SH

Horizon hit it right o the money.  It's important to become the "cruise director" for your child.  Having your son go out into the neighborhood to play as NT kids do won't work.  Invite the NT kids to play at YOUR house.  YOu or your wife will have to supervise the whole time.  Have things at your house that are attractive to other kids and perhaps they don't have themselves.  A ball pit in the basement.  A fenced trampoline.  A pool in summer.  A GREAT climbing thing.  Computer games. Also, if you or your wife can encourage board games, that is GREAT.  It's structured and age appropriate but not too difficult. Things will not go smoothly at first. Don't be surprised if your son whines about the rules and who's breaking them. But this sort of poor social skill can be helped over time, especially when you start young.  And, yes, make him play with other kids.  But don't let him THINK you are "making" him.  Make the play as attractive to him as you can.  Get him involved in as many structured play activities as you can.  If there is a soccer club for kids as young as he is, join that.  Don't completely ignore social groups for spec. needs kids, either. My son participated in both NT and spec. ed. activities when he was young and he learned from both.  I have yet to meet a person who thinks the expensive social skills groups they took their kids to helped all that much.  Our kids tend not to be able to generalize social skills which means, what they learn with one group they won't necessarily transfer to another.  So what's the point of learning to be social with a group of kids you only meet once a week?  Also, all the kids in the group are kids with trouble in the area of social skills. It's the blind leading the blind.  A better idea is to get parent training to learn how to guide your child. That IS helpful.  Another thing is that has been recent research that shows that outside social skills groups don't help much with ASD kids.  Unlike getting them social skills training IN school. 

Frankly, there's not a snowball's chance that you'll be able to get the school district to pay for private placement unless you can PROVE that they've failed and failed over time.  Your son hasn't been AROUND that long to prove this.  You may be able to get them to cross-district or to send him to a state approved private school which is very much like sending him to a public school.  But MOST of the state approved private schools are for more involved kids.  Still, if you want names of good lawyers and advocates (they can give you some excellent advice, even if you don't need them to come to the IEP meeting, which can get expensive), post your state and I'll post a list from the advocacy group I belong to.

John,

My son is about the same age as your Nicholas and my heart truly goes out to you. My son is not as verbal as your son, but he is talking enough to usually get his point across, so my son does not tell us when he is feeling like you son does, so we have to watch his behaviour to pick up on what is going on with him.

My son is in a spec. ed Pre-K program five days a week that has at least two NT children in the classrom everyday, so my son interacts with lots of different kids and he is not the only one in the room that has challenges with certain things.

We had considered trying to place my son in an NT preschool program at the begining of this school year because even though he is very delayed in speech and social skills, he is academically at his age level (or above), but decided against it because we thought that he would not be as happy in a totally NT environment where he would really struggle just to get through the day.

I think that you are right, that part of the problem with Nicholas is that he is being pushed too hard right now. Maybe you could cut out the NT preschool half of the day for now and maybe phase him into more gradually over the course of the year. Even for some NT kids a full day of school at that age is just too much.

A neuro psychologist would be your best option for seeking answers to your current issues. We have also decided to not medicate our son and his behaviour has come so far in the last few months that he really does not seem that he is going to need medications.

My personal theory about interventions is simply that I do all that I can for my son, as long as we don't push my son to the point where he is simply so overwhelmed that he starts to lose ground. I think that point is different for every child, but maybe that is what is happening with Nicholas. It is just all too much for him and he now just wants to be with the comfort and predictability of his own home and his own family.

Thank you all so much. I’m currently looking for groups in my area. My dw has called his dr. to ask who he recommends. Nick’s Dr. is young and has been very helpful in the past. I am also taking him out of his half day nt  pre-K. I also contacted a group of Dr’s who are starting up a social behavior group in our area. I just hope we can afford it. I contacted a lawyer (my brother) who is going to get in touch with an educational lawyer, to see about out of district schooling. Thank again. You are all wonderful. And I don’t know what I would do with out all of you.